Birthday party? too much?

I hope this doesn't get to detailed!! ha! Ok here goes. My cousin has a daughter that is exactly 11 months and 3 weeks younger than my son. Ok in english her birthday is exactly a week before my sons. We are a tight knit family with a lot of birthdays in the summer. Deal is I am having a swim party for my son at a friends house, while I am so very grateful for this her pool (in ground) is smaller than normal. no diving board (it broke) and no slide. My son will be 5. I was greatly disappointed when my cousin told me she decided to have a swim party for her daughter the week before of course. You see we are inviting the same people to the same party 2 weekends in a row. I don't know should I be stressing over this? I am thinking some of them will come to her daughters party and not come to my sons. I am also concerned with the number of bigger kids that will be there. Should I just invite the smaller kids? How do I tell my family that their older children shoudn't come? ? ?

Birthday party? too much?
you should make both on the same day
Reply:you should talk to your cousin about all of this and you don't need to leave no one out. especially the bigger kids or they will start beating up your son.
Reply:ok i feel your pain on this one believe me. My cousin and i got pregnant around the same time twice and so birthdays get kinda weird.





Anyways the birthday is about your child having fun. If he is having fun that will be all that matters. At 5 as long as he has a couple of close friends to play with that is all he will probably care about so don't stress so much about it. Yes some may feel that they don't want to go swimming two weeks in a row but as hot as it is around here people have been swimming pretty much every day. With the older kids you take a chance of not having people show up if you say the older kids can't come. Some parents don't feel right taking one kid to a party and not all of them so that might cause conflict. Just focus on the basics and what would make your son have fun and enjoy the birthday party the most
Reply:Be grateful to have the kids be able to have access to a pool 2 weeks in a row! I dont have a pool and dont know anyone with a pool - and the best thing I have is a garden hose!





Anyway - invite everyone you'd invite normally - but do provide some other games and activities for the older kids or the younger kids when they arent in the pool.
Reply:It was when my kids turned 5 that it was a friends only party. If you don't want to offend anyone however, I'd have a pool party for just his friends that are his age. Then have a potluck Bar-B-Q for a family party.


Good luck!
Reply:I would have it on the same day..since ya'll are so close knit and all. Invite all the kids! that is very rude to not invite all the other children just because they are older! For God Sakes that's your family! (guess your not so close knit after all) The older kids can watch out for the younger ones too...at least that's how it works in my family. As for your cousin it does sound a little fishy..her having the same kind of party every year as your son's...my advise don't tell her what's going on next year...just tell her oh..I'm not for sure yet..then at the last minute send out invite's to everyone.
Reply:Next time just make sure that you don't mention to anyone what you are planning for your son. I hate people who can't think of something by themselves, they have to copy someone. I can understand how you feel. I do feel though that a baby only 12 months old having a pool party??? That just sounds silly. She'd be better off doing something else.
Reply:Remember that this is not a popularity contest. Last time I cheked, no kid is going to pass up an excuse to go to the pool two weeks in a row.





Depending on the age difference, I would say something like 'I think your 12 year old may be bored with a bunch of 5 year olds so they do not have to come if they do not want to'





And your friend is letting you use the pool. Are you really complaining about the pool?
Reply:That does seem kind of rude, although your cousin may not have realized it when she planned it.





Is there any way you could have your party somewhere with more space? Like, a public pool or a lake nearby? I have no idea how much that would cost, but it seems to me the best way to solve a lot of your problems.
Reply:Here's my best attempt at answering this question.


Dilema 1: having a similar birthday one week apart





solution: for this year, combine your swim party with a water games party where you organize water balloons, squirt guns, and pool games (i.e. - marco polo, volleyball, or diving for those sticks for points). If you switch up the types of water the kids are playing in/with they might have more fun at your party.





Dilemma 2: your plans are stolen from your less-than-creative cousin


solution: Either decide to combine both parties next year so you both can throw one BIG bash and work on it together OR next year plan a "mystery" party where you tell the guests what to bring in the invitation, but don't give away your party plans until everyone shows up. This way you can keep your good ideas with yourself and won't have to worry about your cousin stealing your plans or getting angry at you for snobbishly telling her to get her own ideas





Dilemma 3: mixed age group





solution: As long as there are other 12 year olds for the 12 year old to play with than it won't be a bad party. The more the merrier holds true - that's why it's a party. Leaving ppl out will make it more likely that the entire clan won't show up. Do your best to plan games/activities based on a mixed age group. I just checked out some fun sites online to find ideas for games that all ages could play. There are really a lot of things out there. Namely, a treasure hunt, water balloon toss, or water relays (with even distribution of ages). Good luck!