Bachlorette party delima?

so here is my problem.. my friends maid of honour and sister planned her bachlorette party for the same weekend as my husbands birthday. this wouldn't really bother me...except for the fact that i am part of the bridal party and they never even bothered to talk to me about it at all or ask my opinion about it. they all live in edmonton so they can just go for the night... i live in calgary (so i would have to leave the whole weekend)...


i already started to plan something to do for my husbands birthday, and i had to ask my friend when her bachlorette party was (she never even bothered to tell me...)


what do i do??? do i leave my husband alone on his birthday (this is our first year of marriage- so his first birthday wtih us being married) or do i not to to the bachlorette party???


opinions please....thanks!!

Bachlorette party delima?
That seems rather simple. I also think they need to know, without you getting snarky about it, the reason why you can't go.-as In I'm going to have to miss out on the bachelorette party. My husband's birthday is that weekend and we have plans that I can't undo. And then, something along the lines of I wish I would have known about the bachelorette party sooner so I could have planned for both to be possible. (I've done this kind of thing before and it's possible to say that last bit without sounding bitter or whatever. It will also keep things happy if you use 'i' instead of pointing the finger and saying 'you (should have) or you didn't bother to...people get on the defensive that way.


Then you don't dwell on it and wish them a fun time and continue your conversation on whatever else. True, what someone said, she will only have one bachelorette party. But the simple fact is it's not like you had knowledge of both events and had to make a decision which to get involved with. If I were the husband and we sat down and talked about it, I'd be understanding to change the date of my birthday party if the scenario I just described had taken place. But if my s/o asked me to change my birthday party date because there was a bachelorette party that same weekend that the bride/organizer of the party hadn't even bothered to tell me about but expected me to drop everything else for, no I wouldn't be understanding. Anyway, do what you want. That's just how I would deal with that and have handled similar situations.
Reply:It is definetly a tough spot, but your friend will only have one bachlorette party (if all goes well) and you hubby will have a birthday every year. If you have to go away for the whole weekend why not have your hubby tag along to Edmonton and then you go out with the girls and meet up with him later that night? And be upfront with the bachlorette party that you're doing this just in case you split from their party early. They'll probably be more upset if you don't go at all than if you leave the party early.
Reply:There is a easy solution: You can kill two birds with one stone. Get a hotel in the city where the bachelorette party will be, and go to the bachelorette party, just for appearance sake for a couple of hours, return back to your husband and continue the eve with him. All will be happy. While you're at the party plan for him to receive a spa or something. If the bachlorette party is co-ed, then take him with. For every problem there is a solution. Hope this helps you sweetie. Be at peace.
Reply:Your obligation is to your husband over a friend. Your friend should understand being that she will be married soon too. Unless she is self-centered and a bridezilla there is no reason for her to be mad at you for it, maybe disappointed that you are not there, but not mad at you. It was just a failure of communication from the people who planned the party and unless they are willing to change the day to a different weekend just enjoy the time you spend with your husband on his birthday. Think about it this way: if it was your first birthday with your husband as a married couple wouldn't you be at least a little hurt if your husband missed it to go to a bachelor party for the weekend? Something to think about.
Reply:Your husband comes first. Do not leave him alone on his birthday, and especially not on his entire birthday weekend. They didn't bother to consult you and you have other plans. If they had taken the trouble to consult you, they would have found out about your husband's birthday and picked a different date had they really wanted you to attend. Feel no guilt about not attending. Problem solved--there should be no dilemma here.
Reply:Stay with your husband. If nobody included you in the planning of the party, then you can't be expected to drop all your plans and make it there when you are from out of town. Knowing how far you are, they should have asked you first. I realize this is for your friend and she had no part in the planning, but she will understand why you can't come.
Reply:I know it's your husband, but it's a birthday, big deal. This is your friend's, hopefully one and only bachelorette party. You will have many more birthdays to celebrate with your husband. Or is it, that he will have a problem with you leaving on his birthday? That's a whole other dilemma.
Reply:I would stay with my husband. Bachelor/bachelorette parties are kinda ridiculous anyhow. The people wanna get married yet they want to have "one last night of freedom" and party like crazy? Stay with your hubby. Friends come and go but he is there forever. You'll still be in the wedding
Reply:Your husband comes first.


If they question you about why you're not coming, you just tell them outright that you would have been more than happy to attend, but you weren't consulted about the date, and that date is not possible for you.
Reply:Tell them it is your husband's 1st birthday as your husband, and explain that you are sorry, but you can't come to the bride's bachelorette party.
Reply:Previous posters have said it beautifully...





Your husband comes first.





Good luck
Reply:what if your husband left you all alone on your birthday do go get hammered at his buddies bachelor party?
Reply:what would your husband do if the roles were reversed??? :)
Reply:bring him iwth you and during party he can do what ever but the rest of the week end is his and yours...