ok, how far do things go in bachelor parties? I was reading recent questions on bachelor partys and I agree with the women who said if a man needs a bachelor party before they get married there not ready for marriage. i wouldnt be able to marry him a week or so later or at all after it if i knew he was enjoying being at a strip club or with strippers. i would call the whole thing off. but what goes on in them any way? sex? oral sex? making out? I think this would be "CHEATING" bachelor party or not. I would'nt want a bachlorette party. thats unnessisary. obviously if I want to marry my boyfriend I dont want any other man nor do I want to look at them flirt ect. but married women and men tell me about your bachelor parties, what goes on and what are your opinions about them?
Bachelor Party???
my fiance and I just had this very conversation. He wants to have a bachelor party. I don't think that means he is not ready to get married. It's a tradition to have a last night out with "the boys". Get wild and crazy....you know...stupid boy stuff.
That being said, I laid down some ground rules. There are to be no strippers. I said it made me uncomfortable, which it does. There's only one naked woman my future husband should be looking at, and that's me. I told him none of that dare business. I'm sure you have seen those t-shirts with all these little activities that the bachelor has to do. I told him if he kisses or touches another woman in any way I will consider it cheating and he will be in big trouble. I also told him that getting drunk is no excuse for bad behavior. I expect him to be in control of his person at all times. Finally, when it's all over he must come home so I can see for myself if I should be pissed off.
Now, these are my rules. If he breaks them, at that point I feel there is justification for being angry. If he doesn't respect what I ask him to do than I would say, perhaps he isn't ready to be married. At that point it is not about sex it is about respect.
I know you said you didn't want a bachelorette party. It's your choice. A night out with the girls is fun! My thinking is, if I have laid down rules for him, then I myself would follow them during my little get together.
Basically, it's all about telling him what is and what is not acceptable. My fiance did go to other people's parties. I didn't like it. In my personal opinion watching another woman take off her clothes is akin to cheating, but you can't control other men's bachelor parties and you can't bar your man from them. It's complicated. Tell your fiance how you feel and go from there. Good luck.
Reply:It depends on the groomsmen what is planned. I think this is the last chance for the men to bond as friends and I have no problem with it. I know there is no chance my fiance will cheat on me in any way. I doubt they will do anything like seeing strippers. If they want to see strippers, that is OK with me because my policy is "look but do not touch." I also know that he mainly will just enjoy being with his friends and the strippers (if there are even any) will be secondary. I think my fiance will probably be either (1) a bit disgusted by the whole thing and appreciate me all the more or (2) turned on by it all and appreciate me all the more that night. Either way it is win/win.
Reply:if a guy goes to a strip club at least in michigan they are not allowed to touch the dancers in any way
Reply:If there is any sex going on, thats prostitution, not a stripper! If there is a prostitute, hes not ready for marriage. But strippers do not kiss or make contact with patrons at the bar. I wouldnt worry about it. Its just a tradition meant in good fun. Some guys just go golfing or something. Its really whatever his friends plan.
Reply:It depends, both on the man and how far he is willing to take it, and any females that may be around. My husband and I decided not to have bachelor/bachelorette parties. I didn't understand the whole "lets celebrate being single". Instead, we had a nice dinner, went shopping and together celebrated the fact that we were no longer going to be single, and were going to get married to each other for life.
I have known of others who had bachelor parties and nothing happened (aside from getting plastered and looking at other naked people...no thanks), but then you always hear about the guy who goes out, gets wasted, and has one last roll in the hay with another girl. It's ridiculous.
I told my husband that if he wanted to do something, he could go out to a game, out to dinner, with his family and friends who were married and responsible. I didn't feel that he should be running around with a bunch of single, drinking guys. My husband expressed that he didn't want to do anything, and that is when we spent our "last night" together.
I never felt the need to have a "last night". I was ready to spend the rest of my life with my husband. No amount of alcohol, other men, or partying could take that from me.
Reply:it depends on what they choose to do. my husband went out for pizza, wings and beer with my dad and his friends at a local pub. he was home before I was. I went to a bar across the street with some friends for a few drinks and some dancing. my husband and I have a mutual agreement not to go to strip clubs. both of us feel its disgusting and the people up there are too. we both have more respect for ourselver and eachother then to sit through that. wahtever my man wants he gets at home so there is no need for some bimbo with plastic boobs to try and turn on my man. if you dont like strip clubs and things like that then I suggest you have a talk with your bf and come to an understanding about it all. if you trust him then things should be fine.
Reply:It really all depends on how much you trust your boyfriend. If you trust him to make good choices and not do things that he knows will hurt you, then you shouldn't worry about the bachelor party. Of course, in a gentle way, you need to discuss with him what you consider cheating..kissing, oral, anything that you think is over the line, you need to let him know. My husband knows he is more than welcome to go to a strip club, but I've told him on several occasions that I consider getting a lap dance as cheating. of course, I had to reason with him that having some other girl rub all over him and he getting excited was a form of sexual pleasure, which in my eyes is cheating. But we both have trust in each other not to ever do anything that is disrespectful or hurtful to the other person. for his bachelor party, just two weeks ago, he and his pals went paint balling for most of the day, then to Hooters and then drinking and bowling. none of his friends were ALLOWED by thier wives to go to a strip club. But complete control over your spouse does not make a good relationship. They should be able to make their own decisions, and if it is a bad one, then they should know there will be consequences.
Reply:Yikes, they aren't quite that extreme! It's illegal in most places for customers of strip clubs to touch the strippers. If they have sex or oral sex, they're called HOOKERS, not strippers!
I don't agree that if a guy has a bachelor party before getting married he isn't ready to get married. I think they're fine and it's really just a party with his guy friends. I'm not saying I love knowing my bf would be at a strip club, but not ALL guys go to strip clubs at their stags.
And you don't have to watch strippers yourself if you have a bachelorette party! For my friend's, we went out for dinner and mini golf! And another friend had an 80s slumber party. It's just a time to spend with your friends before getting married.
Reply:These days not every guy goes out to see strippers for their bachelor party (or bucks night in Oz). Mnay guys now do lots of different stuff like going out for dinner, playing games, going away for a weekend etc. I would also not like it if my fiance was to go out to see strippers for his bachelor party. If your fiance plans to do this then just tell him you feel uncomfortable with this idea and I'm sure he wouldn't mind doing something else. Just make sure it's the same rule about the strippers for both of you. BTW, guys don't hook up with the strippers or go and cheat at these nights (unless they are assholses), they just watch them dance. Generally, it's just a bit of fun, nothing too serious goes on and nothing with other women. Guys can still have a fun bachelor party by doing something different and not be too naughty.
Reply:i so agree. me and my hsband had like a party together and then about mid way throu all the ladies went to a movie out to eat and starbucks and the men staied home and plaied poker. all the guys were good guys, but if a guy needs a bar and girls all over him hes not ready, if a guy is ready for marriage he shouldn't be wanting the party scene anymore. so agree.
Reply:Who says you need to have anything sexual at a bachelor/bachelorette party? My girfriends and I are going out to have a "girls" night. We are all very comitted to our significant others and we just want to go out and have cocktails, good convo, lots of laughter, and maybe some dancing all together as friends. I want my fiance to do the same thing. Like go out with the guys and do whatever, as long as there is no sexual nature involved. I see it as a time to get together as a girls night or guys night out with the friends who are standing up with you on your special day.
Reply:I've been to a few of these parties. Can you handle the truth???? if not, do not read any further........................I have seen the groom to be so drunk he couldn't get an erection while the "party girl" was giving lip service to him. I have seen the future groom while sitting in a chair have unprotected sex with a girl who sits on his lap. I have seen the groom to be and several of his friends had oral sex done to them ( to completion) at a party. I have also witnessed the groom to be and his best man have sex with the stripper at the same time, one on the front door, the other on the BACK door. Now the good news, over half the time, nothing sexual happens, usually just touching, drinking, maybe a kiss or two. I guess this isn't what you wanted to hear, however, from the 8 parties I've been to or participated in, this is the truth. No two have ever been the exact same...
Reply:My husband's bachlor party consisted of him going to a couple of bars with his best guy friends. No big deal. Honestly though, I wouldn't have cared if he went to a strip club, it is just entertainment and I am not threatened by it. I think as long as their was no kissing or fondeling and just watching, I wouldn't freak at all.
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